Who is more blessed, someone who has a bank account full of money and can get whatever they want? Or, a person who has little, but whose every need and many wants are met by God right in front of her face?
First of all, I admit that this is a bad question. Comparing our blessing is a little silly. Every good gift if from up above according to James, and a person with a bank full of money should feel blessed by God. But lately I have been thinking a lot about the gifts we seek. I think when I pray to God for myself and for my family and friends, I pray that God will give all we need to meet our needs. I don’t ever ask God to be left with needs and no way to meet them so that I can depend solely on Him. But, over the last few months, that is exactly what God has done with us. Need after need has come up that we don’t know how we will meet it, and then God has miraculously met that need.
There have been days when we have sat down to look at our bills and wondered what can we cut out, how can we stretch this money, and then we have gotten a call out of nowhere from friends we haven’t seen in years who come by the house to deliver money that God told him to give to us. We have had friends stop by and fill our pantry with food, and other who have given gift certificates.
God has sent old friends to run into me on the train at just the right time to help me find my way through Chicago without getting mugged so I can meet up with my friend from Nigeria. I had a night where I felt down and depressed remembering all the abuse I experienced this last year, and God miraculously sent encouragement from a friend who was praying for me and felt led by God to write to me.
By worldly standards, John and I are quite poor. We don’t own a home anywhere. Our paycheck is modest and while we have a savings account, it often gets drained to fund a container in order to keep funding Grace Gardens. But right now as I write this, I feel like the richest woman in the world.
We might all prefer to have all we need right at our finger tips, but I have to say the fruit of depending on God and watching His hand divinely direct your life is sweet. To watch Him reach out and meet the needs of your children and to know that the creator of this universe loves my children even more than I love them is amazing. To know that God loves me enough to send a friend at just the right time to tell me to put my cell phone (I was using the gps to find my way around Chicago!) in my purse because I have a man following me about to steal my phone, is amazing. The fact that God brought us home and put us right next to one of the best eye clinics in the country for us to discover that our Joshua is almost blind and needs is amazing. The fact that I got a call from Grace Gardens telling me that the costs of tuition for the kids had almost doubled, and then the next day a small church with a small vbs raised almost exactly the difference we needed to pay the increased fees for the first semester. That isn’t just amazing, it is exciting! And what a confirmation that Grace Gardens belongs to God! What a relief! That means that it is His job to protect it and prolong it. I just get the incredible honor of being present while He does it.
I have learned that just like a child wants an allowance so that they have their own money and can make their own decisions. I too, want to have control of my life and I am often jealous of the people who have bank accounts that give them that freedom. But lately, God has been teaching me that allowing Him to have control is so freeing. I actually get excited when a need comes up, because I know that I am about to have a front row seat to watch God meet it. I have learned that praising God for all He allows in our lives, even what seems horrible, opens the door for new blessings by preparing our hearts to receive the blessings. I am not talking about the health and wealth gospel. By no means! My bank account is still very small, but my heart has been overflowing lately. I have enjoyed watching God’s hand divinely reach out to me and I have enjoyed the blessing of waiting at His feet to meet my needs and the needs of my family. Anything that brings you to the fee of Jesus is a blessing!